Building Character in Toddlers

Many mothers are worn out & weary -- you get that way after 10 hours of -
--listening to screaming & fussing kids
--screaming & fussing at the kids
--cleaning house
--picking up after kids
--trying to repair things the kids broke
--chasing kids
--feeling like nothing productive came out of the day

Toddlers are at a wonderful age. They are at an age of learning & exploring. Your day shouldn't be work, work, work. It should have victories & fun. Not everyday is going to be perfect but you should have more victories than failures. We know it can be done because God commands us to teach our children. Every minute of every day should be for learning! Here is the main problem:

CHILDREN ARE LET LOOSE IN THE HOUSE!
--they tear things up
--they are noisy
--they fight with one another
--they make messes
--they are discontented and bored

Thus......mother becomes a nervous wreck. I'm going to give you lots of advice today but I want to first say that your personal devotion is of utmost importance. It is that devotion that's going to keep you from going insane. It is that devotion that is going to keep you from abusing your children either verbally or physically.

What do you do with your children all day? Good question. I am going to give some advice that worked for me.

1. Wake kids up at a certain time every morning, Never say "I'll let the kids sleep in today so I can get some housework done." It won't work. They kids will be grumpy and they are being trained that they are in the way. They are being denied the opportunity to do chores and learn to work.

Proverbs 6:9 - How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?

2. Keep a big clock in the room that is easily seen by you and the toddlers. This clock is there so they can know when their time is up to do a certain activity. Keep the kid's activities in an area of the house that you can see well. Sometimes that may be the living room floor. (This also teaches them to tell time without any effort at all.)

Proverbs 29:15 - The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

3. Make the children sit at a meal time for 30 minutes. That gives you time to eat and pick up. It also gives you time to teach meal manners.

4. Give the kids chores and insist that they are completed within 1 hour of waking (or completion of breakfast). Anytime they have after doing their chores is free time. Write these chores down and never budge. I always had chores done before breakfast. No chores....no breakfast.

5. Get rid of 90% of all their toys. With structured time they don't need them. Toys are not always good for children. Have maybe 4 or 5 toys they can play with during "free" time but the rest of structured items are kept put away. This makes them special.

6. Each structured activity should last about 30 minutes. This gives you 5 minutes to show them what they are supposed to be doing and 5 minutes clean-up. That gives them 20 minutes to sit or stand to do that activity. The 20 minutes is yours. Set the time limit. They must complete the full time even if they are bored. And they must put that activity away even if they are having a wonderful time. Use activities they really love as rewards.

7. At first you will be disciplining a lot to keep the kids seated and contented. Especially if they are used to going from toy to toy and have had many toys. But it won't take long and they will learn to enjoy that activity. Once you know you have no choice you become content and then you even learn to enjoy your work.

8. Use variety in the activities. Every day the children should wonder what they will learn or do. Some activities they will like, some they won't. They must participate in all activities. (Like life) They should never be allowed to say "I don't want to." These activities will gradually switch to schoolwork. The kids will hardly notice they are doing school because of the gradual change.

9. A one hour rest time should be required ever day. This time is your free time. Please don't let the children sleep for a long time because you are being selfish. And don't let the kids get up. They need to learn to rest quietly. This is training them for their future prayer life. How many adults can't pray 10 minutes with out becoming restless and bored! Had they learned to rest for one hour as a child they might could pray.

10. Outside time should be required. Outside time is better if you have activities (e.g. gardening, swimming, picnic, etc.) But at least 30 minutes a day the children should be required to go outside. Yes, even in winter. Even rainy days can be fun. If you have a porch they can play on the porch. Set boundaries in the yard. Teach the children where they can go from the beginning. Take the time and walk the yard saying no to the areas outside the boundaries. However, children shouldn't be put outside all day just to get them out of your hair.

11. Thirty minutes should be spent each morning learning Scripture and singing. Make this a very fun and happy time. Use puppets, dolls, books, pictures and music to help the children learn the Bible. At the end of the time, pray.

12. Spend lots of time with them. When your kids are doing something....be there. Don't every go shopping or have a “family time” when one of your children are singing or preaching somewhere! Why make your kids angry because they “have to” go sing while there rest of the family gets to go play.

13. Training is more than spanking....it is time. It takes time to teach character. To teach a kid to sit still in church takes the same amount of time as it takes to teach them their ABC's. Take one 30 minute period and have the kids practice sitting in church, standing straight and tall, holding a songbook, etc.

14. Be consistent. Don't be a lying mother. Let your “Yeas be yeas” and your “nays be nays.”

15. Teach the kids boundaries (like sitting alone (reading or looking at a book) on a couch for a few minutes) so you can safely get things done. This gives you time to take a bath or cut up a chicken.

16. Self-control. Teach the kids to be quiet. No fighting should be allowed. Don't allow your children to fall in the floor and pitch a fit.

1 Thes. 4:11 - And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

17. Quit running the roads. If you do these things you will be able to carry your children anywhere. They will be able to sit in church. They will be a blessing to your home instead of a burden. It takes work at first to get their little spoiled selves satisfied but lots of firm consistency is the key. And, some mothers will have to quit running the roads and leaving the baby home with sister or brother. Why have children if you aren't planning on raising them?

And, yea, ladies, Daddy comes first. But why not ask him if you can have three days a week in which you can make a very structured life for the children? Most people just decide to let the public school give the kids the structure and don't even bother trying. "Well, they learn that in school." How terrible! You are their mother. STAY HOME and teach your children!

Titus 2:5 - To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

18. Go to all Church Activities. You want your children to be spiritual but yet you choose to stay home instead of go to preaching meetings. Teach your kids that to work for God you have to sacrifice at times.