(Oh, by the way, names have been changed)
Lisa (original post on Facebook)
So, I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth because I am about to go to bed. I reach to gently turn the water on and the whole handle comes off in my hand. Water is spewing at 100 mph straight at the ceiling. I am screaming "Help!!!!!". My husband rushes to my rescue (which after 30 years he is quite good at) and turns the water off from outside (there is no cut off under the sink). I used ever towel in my house to clean up the mess. Of course, being married to Mr. Fixit, an hour later, a new faucet is back on and the water is running fine. :D
Mary - Oh wow!! That'll wake you up!! Did you burst out laughing?! I think I would have!!
Tina - So now you are wide awake and had your shower?! Lol. Yay for a handy husband who came quickly.
Lisa - I did. I was shaking because I didn't know what to do. The whole house was flooding. My cabinets were flooding. The lights above the vanity blew out. The drawers were all full of water. Yeah, I laughed. LOL Oh, yeah, my make up bag was drenched!
Martha - We all have had those moment. I had an electrical fire in the kitchen overhead fixtures. Woke up to the smoke alarm going off at 4 in the morning. I turned off the breakers, called the fire dept. and ran a water hose into the house. I put the fire out and saved my house. You never know what u can do until u have to. My husband died 3 years ago, you do what u have to,
Lisa - That makes me feel better, Martha. I am not such a fast thinker....All i could think about was "Oh, no, I'm in my nightgown. I can't go outside." LOL I was trying to hold my hand over the geyser. If my husband dies...this old girl better go to vo-tech and take some classes. LOL I don't know how to do anything.
Martha - You have to remember all the things they taught you while u weren't listening\. Because u thought they would be there forever. Sorry, that is just a lot of pain I go through.
Lisa- So true! I understand. I can't imagine not having my sweetheart. After 30 years we are best friends. It also has been my good fortune to have 3 sons who all are Mr. Fixits like their dad....one son which lives particularly close....thank goodness, because I have had to call on him several times!!!!
Martha - My best friend died 3 years ago and I am not so lucky
------At which point I take the conversation private-------
Lisa - So sorry to hear about your husband dying. Would I be out of line to ask you what happened? Do you have children? How long were you married? If I am out of line, forgive me.
Martha - 25 years, one son. I hurt so bad everyday. I don't know how to get over it. My heart is broken. I have to live everyday without my soulmate. I begged God for his life when he was dying. he didn't help me. Yes he has helped me since. I got mad at God. I had to watch him die\. I will never get over that.
Lisa - I can imagine you do. My grandmother told me she never has gotten over losing Daddy D. I don't think you ever get over it completely.
But, I do know that having a relationship with Jesus Christ helps. Or, atleast it has helped me through all the things I have been through.
As you know, I am married to a Baptist preacher. Where some people get mad at God....I always ran to God. I always believed! You have to believe.
Have you ever been born again? By that I mean, do you remember a time when you gave your life to Jesus Christ?
Martha - It makes no sense. He was a good man, who loved God. Yes, I am born again, why else would I be mad at God\
Lisa - If he was a true believer then he is with the Lord. This earth is not a place for us to get bound. We are headed out of here.
I believe that trials happen for reasons. We just should live by faith. God is God. What he choses to do is always right. We don't understand. We just believe....and trust. And we patiently wait to see his goodness.
Martha - He did good works, he helped everybody, he took kids under his wings\. Why was he taken\. Please anser me that. That was not fair. You would not think so either if it was ur husband
Lisa - I can't answer why God choses to take someone. But I can say that He is always right to do what he does. He is in control and getting mad doesn't help. Like a child....your son may not like you sending him to school. He may cry, scream and hold on to you and he might even get mad at you for sending him....but you know what is best for your child. So you do what is best and he must accept it and trust that you love him and are not trying to hurt him.
Martha - Lisa, nobody can preach to me, I know the word, that is why it hurts so much
Lisa - Ok, I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please forgive me.
Martha - God has saved me when I didn't even want to be saved. But I can't forgive myself for my husband dying\. What could I have done to save him. I don't know how to get past that
Martha - It has to be my fault, I was responsible for him, just like he was for me. You have no more answers than i do. I don't know, everything you say are just platitudes. You are saying what u think someone wants to hear.
Lisa - I am going to share one verse with you. I don't want to appear preachy but you know....it is who I am. I perceive you are bitter. I hope I am wrong. But here is the verse:
Heb_12:15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
Bitterness brings so much trouble to your life but the worst part is that so any other people will be defiled because of your bitterness. Bitterness hurts many people. It makes you sharp and harsh toward people. Maybe the people are genuinely trying to be kind.
I suggest you go to the Lord with your bitterness and ask him to take it away.
Again, I beg you to know that I am not meaning any harm. I am not trying to be mean. I am really, sincerely wanting to see some healing take place in your life.
Martha - Lisa, after my husband died, I got 3 dui's in amonth\. I went to jail\. Can u imagine me in jail\. I have never even gotten a traffic ticet\.
Lisa - I wish I could help you more. I am afraid that I am not the wisest person. But I do know that I'd never intentionally hurt anyone and I am so sorry If I have hurt you. I will say a prayer for you before I go to bed.
Martha - I just feel burned sometiomes. You haven't hurt me\. It is almost a physical pain. probably worse. A physical pain u know will go away this doesn't. I have dealt with it for over 3 years, it still hurts like it was yesterday. i have asked god to take it away, I am still waiting on that. Just because I got mad at God, does not mean I don't love him
Lisa - How would your husband want you to handle this? I believe he is watching. Is this what he'd want? You aren't able to help others if you are still needing help yourself. It is time to move on. Many have been through what you are going through. They make it and you can too. It is not easy but other people need you. You have a purpose to fulfill. Get out there and fulfill it. Start back serving God. Love Him. One day you will reunite with your Sweety. Until then...get busy loving on people. There are others who need help in this same area!
I'm going to bed but If you ever see me online...please contact me. Because I believe this is your first day to victory! I want to hear about it! You can do it. Do it for your husband, do it for your son, do it for you, and most of all....do it for God!
Martha - I think u are giving me the standard issue for preacher's wives, not for an old friend
that is ok, I know God, I don't need crap. don't give me a speech you have rehearsed a thousand times. I luv u girl but this is not acceptable to me
Lisa - How rude. I was saying that from my heart. I've never rehearsed that. What have I done to you to make you so unkind to me? I've only been trying to be kind. This is who I am. I am sorry it is so unacceptable to you. I would have gladly accepted you for who you are but yet I am so unaccepted by you.
Martha - You are saying stuff out of a movie\. I want the real lisa
Lisa - What movie? I think it is not just me you are mad at. I think no matter who was trying to help you....we would all be rejected. I am not a fake. This is who I am. What is the real Lisa? Some one who mean, bitter, and miserable??? I am sorry but that is not me.
Martha - So that is who i am? No, I am the person who took care of everybody and got left alone
Stop sounding fake
i am not bitter and mean\. Just sad most of the time\. When u have walked in my shoes, then u judge me\. the Lisa I wanted was the one that used to make wine under her bed\. Yes I remember that\. I need u to be really really real with me, not preachy\. I love and respect you\.
You can't tell me God does everything for a reason,that is no explanation for the pain i have endured. My husband was a good man, a good christian.We both never hurt anybody, and helped anyone we could
-------------Now, here is my morning reply--------------------------
1st) I am not a 15 year old kid anymore...and neither are you. Yes, I tried to make wine once. But I was a kid. I was playing. I am the same happy-go-lucky Lisa I was then...only now I am serving the Lord. My husband and I got in church when I was 18 years old. I've served God for almost 30 years. I am not a fake. I really, really do love the Lord.
2nd) You are not the same Martha I knew growing up. The Martha I knew was kind, sweet tempered, So, instead of judging me as a fake....maybe you need to check yourself out. Because I want the old Martha.
3rd) I was thinking, on an upwards day of our church we have around 350 or 400 people in attendance. Many, many of them are widows. Actually we have a church full of widows. Some are young, some are old. Most of them had wonderful marriages. But none of them are bitter. None of them are mad. They all have accepted this as God's will for their life.
4th) Even though I am happy-go-lucky I have had my share of tragedies. Though I don't like to focus on the worse aspects of my life, I have heard the words, "You have cancer" from my doctor. I cried, I wept. My husband cried and wept. But I never asked "why" and I never got bitter. I just accepted and kept enjoying life. No matter what happends to me....God has still been good! The very fact that I am saved and will not burn in hell for an enternity is enough to keep me shouting for the rest of my life. And yes, if that sounds fake....so be it.
5th) I fully believe life is what you make it. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has problems. If you want to be miserable....you will. I, personally, don't enjoy being miserable so I get over things. I learned that from my parents and grandparents. I've never seen my momma D feel sorry for herself and get miserable. My parents just get over things. I learned from their example! But most of all, I chose for myself, to be happy, love God, accept things I can't change, and be a good example of a loving human to my 4 children and 12 grandchildren. I work hard every day to make people feel special and like I genuinely care!
Now, having said that, you may say I sound preachy. That is ok. Because, in the end, I am walking around with a smile, happy and content with my life. It hasn't been an easy road...but talking about my trials won't help people. They could care less about my trials and no matter what you say or tell them will only result in a bunch of comments like "you don't understand" "you are just fake" and "you wouldn't think that if....."
The stories I could tell as a pastor's wife. I've seen it both ways. I saw one family who lost their child to drowning and they became very bitter. They got out of church. Never smiled again. Divorced. Lost everything they had. Even the 2 children who they still had became nasty, bitter kids. A few years ago I saw another family lose a baby to drowning. They stayed in church. Started a support group. Continued their lifestyle of gratitude and they have the sweetest kids. Each person handled their issues differently. One got bitter, one got better.
But, in the end, your attitude is what helps you get over things. I choose to live life with eagerness and happiness. Others chose to get bitter and negative.
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